Monday, September 27, 2010

This Weeks Featured Blogger says....

Alright, This is The Bad Bitch here waking up early to get this guest post rolling. This bad girl is coming to us from her blogspot known as Awkward Sex and the City- and she ain't lying. She writes about all the topics that can make people blush, squirm, and sometimes even gag a little- but that's why we love her girls... Here's a little taste of her point of view and if you want more, be sure to hop over to her blog...
 
I’m calling it now… I’m totally going to be a home wrecker in the next ten years…. I like dad’s way too much for the average girl.
I don’t know what it is but I find them irresistible, with their permanent five o’clock shadows, and their receding hairlines. And oh dear god if they drink keystone light from the can, fuck me now.
The sad thing is, I’m not being sarcastic. I’m attracted to dads, older men, geriatrics one might say. But I shit you not, if any of you try to even touch my father…I will eat your face, whore. My father is a saint, bitches. A saint.
I was walking down the street the other day and I passed a balding 40ish man and smiled to myself and thought, “Hmm, I really don’t have any standards, do I?”
I actually was thinking about having sex with this man. This balding, pot-bellied man. I didn’t even know if he was rich yet.
To explain him accurately he looked like a mix of Jim Gaffigan and Louis C.K., funny men, yes. Hot, attractive, sexually suitable for most women? Aw, hellllllll no.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a gold-digger. And I’m sure as hell not ugly. Cute, some say. Gorgeous others say when they want head.
Have you ever accidently drooled on a guy’s chest before? Awkward right? Yeah, older guys don’t notice that shit. Usually they think they drooled on themselves. If that doesn’t sound like heaven to you, then you are the fucking devil… the devil.
I think I like the stability of older men. They’ve given up. They understand the unspoken rules. And they know not to deviate from said unsaid rules. That being, I want, what I want, when I want it.
Follow those rules and you’ll get laid. Young men don’t get that. Older men do.
Boom…guess who gets laid.
And guess who got the Bob Evans early bird special this afternoon? This girl bitches.
This girl.

13 comments:

  1. Good to know I'm not the only one attracted to men that are almost old enough to be my dad and not exactly 'sex dream' material. Haha, love it!

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  2. HAHAHAHA!!! I think older men are sexy too!

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  3. I'm so happy to know I'm not the chick who gets moist over a receding hair line and beer belly. But if he happens to be nerdy and short...then fuck me running...I'm all over it!

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  4. The fuck is wrong with you bitches??? I'm ALL over older man... but they have to be like Sean Connery sexy!!!

    Love you bitch!

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  5. Me too, Bitch! I am all OVER older men. Mmm.

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  6. I'm with CB I am all over the Sean Connery types. Found myself a 63yo stud and would never have guessed his age...silver hair but tan, muscular...OMG and was he good in bed!

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  7. Man, old dudes from all around the world are going to be looking for you (all).

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  8. Bluz... You're a cock at a hen party... ;)

    And that's why I love you so much, because you could give a fuck!

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  9. Like Older Guys but Im With CB! Funny Post Hopping over after I Post this!
    BluDude: Definately they will be Looking for all Of them!

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  10. Mmmm Sean Conner has been in my sexual fantasies for years!! He is one sexy mother fucker! For years I didn't bother with a fella if he was within five years of me. The younger pups just didn't know how to give me what I wanted. Older men always had that appeal for me. I had a fling with a man 15 years my senior for a short time when I was 18 and damn was that good sex! Somehow fate ended up pairing me with a freak my own age, go figure.

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  11. I have to agree, Sean Connery is flicking the bean material.

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  12. so glad you guys agree! im more of a dennis quaid girl...also i gave you a shout out on my blog ow ow!!!

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