It's Friday and we can do whatever the fuck we want!

Okay so today I have a special treat for you all. Brunette and I got an email to check out this new blog shouldidumphim.com- so we did cause were fuckin awesome like that. And I am like in love with this idea! Should I Dump Him allows people to send in stories about their boyfriend woes and then anyone reading the blog can vote to Keep Him or Dump Him! There is also a panel of hosts that will discuss the more difficult scenarios! I think this is a kick ass blog concept and I will be hitting up this site everyday if I can! The blog design itself is so fuckin adorable and the panelist icons are so cute! I love it. So head on over, check it out, vote a few times- and leave some love over here about what you think!

Were also blog stalking today, of course!

My Favorite Pair of Tits is BARING it all...

I have been DYING to see this bitch naked interview Boobies since like the SECOND I met the hoe several months ago. Jana, whom I and 97.9% of bloggers everywhere refer to as Boobies, fucking loves me and let me interview her! Jana is fucking AMAZING and aside from being skanktasticin every way, she also hosts BADASS giveaways on her blog all the time!

Here it is hookers:

Who is the FIRST dude you showed your fantastic fake boobies to, BESIDES Mr. Boobies???

(You know you have whore and I totally call BULLSHIT if you say you haven't!)
These tits had a rough road to recovery...and I'm still minimizing the last of my scarring. (My doctor may or may not have been huffing paint when he done this surgery.) So I SWEAR on a stack of Qurans that I haven't showed anyone..minus Mr. Boobies, the doc, and some nurses. YET. :)

We all know about your obsessive compulsive issue with poorly manicured feet... Which is a worse offense to you, Gross feet or in opened toed stilettos or the dreaded... bitch rocking cottage cheese thighs and a mini skirt????
Oh God! I would peep cottage cheese thighs all day long..but busted feet...no-never. That shit ain't right. Keep your toes tight ladies! (God I LOVE this bitch!)

Tell me and all the other Bad Girls why they should go check out your amazingly hookerific Bad Girl blog right now!

Admittedly, I don't drop fuck every second word like my girl CB on my blog. Not that I don't want to sometimes...but my blog is pimptastic. I manage to hook my Boobie Chasers up with awesome giveaways, share my very warped perspective on life and child rearing, and I'm mad honest. (And I have big fake tits that are often showcased...why wouldn't you want to come visit?) -Right???

What do you think qualifies you as a Bad Girl???

As a Mom of three, I've probably toned down my bad girl persona...mainly because I don't think I'd last a minute in jail. Someone would make me their bitch and I'm just not down with broomsticks and whatnot...so I try to keep my shit on the up and up. In my pre-Mommy days, I was the baddest bitch you'd ever meet. I've busted out teeth with liquor bottles, took off my shoe and beat a broad down, gave my best right hook to a guy, traded peeks of my boobies so my friends and I could get ciggs in trade....I was once in a car accident with a group of pot heads on the way to a killer party. Two of the girls in the car were whining about some minor skin injuries...so what if old girl's hair was still hanging from the rear view?...we had a party to get to...so I convinced them all they didn't need medical assistance so we could go par-tay. I was self destructive, a sex kitten, unable to sympathize with anyone, and on a mission to revive free love. How much has changed? You decide.

Were you ALWAYS a Bad Girl or are you recently converted?

I've been a bad girl since I crawled out of the womb! Ask my Mom--she didn't have me committed to a behavioral center for her good health...well, maybe she did.

What bores you more, a 'Mommy Blogger' or 'Tweet Blogs' and why bitch?

What's a tweet blog? I don't mind a REAL Mommy Blog. But I'll admit reading that Timmy got his first tooth or Judy is constipated doesn't appeal to me. My kids have teeth and shit too. I like when Mom's keep it real and aren't afraid to say they have days where they feel like selling their kids on Ebay....now THOSE are Mommy Bloggers!

I want you to tell me and EVERY other Bad Girl here about an instance that has made you realize you are in fact a Bad Girl.

I think I just gave a few above...but what it boils down to is this..I'm an outspoken 30 year old Mom of three..I can rock a stripper pole like nobodies biz, I'm a lady in the street (most of the time) and a freak in the bed. I would slit throats for my family, rob banks to feed them, I'll cuss an old lady if she deserves it, and make no apologies for the bad girl I am! I go to my kid's school functions and get the look from the soccer moms..but I bounce right on through with my DDD's in tow. I don't care what anyone thinks...I am who I am!

There you have it skank faces... one of my favorite bitches EVER, Jana from Boobies Babies and a Blog. Go there now and tell her how awesomely titty-tastic she is!

Wicked Wednesday

<a href="http://badgirlbloggers.blogspot.com"><img src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/Wicked-Wed.png" alt="Bad Girl Bloggers Button" /></a>

It's Wicked Wednesday bitches and shit runs pretty simply with the Bad Girl Bloggers, mostly because we're still drunk from last night and refuse to dwell on the bullshit! Just post something wicked to entertain our asses, okay sluts?

• Take our skanky ass button
• Post something amazing
• Link your post up to the linky

Told you we were easy... Oh fuck, I didn't? Well, was it really all that difficult to draw your own conclusions??? Link up whores, and come back tomorrow for a titty-tastic interview!

 

Top Ten Tuesday- Bad Girl Playlist

These are the songs that get our blood pumpin' and really make us embrace being the bad girls that we are... It doesn't matter if you love or hate these songs or the bitches who sing them, because they rock balls. The Bad Bitch and I both chose 5 of our favorites and you love it whores!

Beyonce- "Diva"

This one is for the girls that like to shake it on the dance floor. The bass in this song is ridiculous and when this song comes on in the club, there is no stopping me from getting out there and rockin' that slow, steady grind on a fine man. And we all know that Beyonce, whether we love her or hate her, is a fuckin' Diva and is dammmnnnn good at it. Go watch the video, it's fuckin' hot.


Miranda Lambert- "Kerosene"
Names the Bad Girl of country music with her break out song 'Kerosene'... AHEM, when I was in High School... Fuck you bitches, this is Kansas! We rock cowboy boots (in my case-stilettos), crank up the country music and two-step until our fucking backs hurts. I fucking love this song hooker! Go listen to it, even if you HATE country music, you will love this goddamn song! Video 


Keri Hilson- "Turnin' Me On"

Ms. Hilson tells it like it is on her debut single featuring Lil' Wayne (Free Weezy!). Every time thins song comes on in my car, i can't help but feel sexy while singing the versus. Lil Wayne's rap details satisfying his woman and refers to the vagina as a "piranha" which is awesome. Video! 


Pink- "You and Your Hand"
We're here to dance, drink and talk shit- NOT for you to play grab ass with. I love it because it tells it just like it is- YES, I look fucking fantastically fuckable... but YOU couldn't touch me with someone elses cock right now. Video





Katy Perry- "I Kissed A Girl"
And she fuckin' liked it. This song made "experimenting" acceptable and now you can hear this song being butchered at karaoke bars everywhere! Why? because girls like kissing girls! Finally, we are no longer ashamed of that one time at college, or those five times in college... or last week- "ain't no big deal, it's innocent"- Perry.

The Runaways- "Cherry Bomb"
Um win. While I may not have been around to enjoy this song when it was released... I can rock the shit out of it now! Seriously, I don't know if it gets any better than when she starts belting out 'CHERRY BOMB! CHERRY BOMB!' This song rocks my balls, so like it hoes! Video




Lady Gaga- "Poker Face"
Gaga made it okay for all ladies to get it on with a boy while thinkin' about a girl- it doesn't get any more complicated than that, huh? Anyway, its a great song to perform a striptease for your man or woman! And come on, any song that metaphors sex with a card game is the shit.




Buckcherry- "Crazy Bitch"
Yes, as a matter of fucking FACT, this is my theme song sluts. Chicks are FUCKED up, we fucking know it and we kick the shit out of "crazy bitch". I'm not ashamed to be a psycho chick... Are you? Video



 
Amy Winehouse- "Rehab"
No, No, No... Fuck that! Rehab is for quitters! Amy is so badass that she ended up with her ass in jail, and then forced to go to rehab, oops! Regardless, its a great song about giving the middle finger to anyone who tries to change your bad girl ways.

Pussycat Dolls- "Don't Cha"  

Need I say more? Bitches WANT to be us, they hate us- because the HAVE to... Why? It's very simple, because their fucking boyfriend keeps eye-fucking us. If they are lucky we take them in the bathroom and show them how Bad Girls do it... The chick or the Dude? Refer to Ms. Perry baby.
Video

This Weeks Featured Blogger says....

Alright, This is The Bad Bitch here waking up early to get this guest post rolling. This bad girl is coming to us from her blogspot known as Awkward Sex and the City- and she ain't lying. She writes about all the topics that can make people blush, squirm, and sometimes even gag a little- but that's why we love her girls... Here's a little taste of her point of view and if you want more, be sure to hop over to her blog...

 

I’m calling it now… I’m totally going to be a home wrecker in the next ten years…. I like dad’s way too much for the average girl.

I don’t know what it is but I find them irresistible, with their permanent five o’clock shadows, and their receding hairlines. And oh dear god if they drink keystone light from the can, fuck me now.

The sad thing is, I’m not being sarcastic. I’m attracted to dads, older men, geriatrics one might say. But I shit you not, if any of you try to even touch my father…I will eat your face, whore. My father is a saint, bitches. A saint.

I was walking down the street the other day and I passed a balding 40ish man and smiled to myself and thought, “Hmm, I really don’t have any standards, do I?”

I actually was thinking about having sex with this man. This balding, pot-bellied man. I didn’t even know if he was rich yet.

To explain him accurately he looked like a mix of Jim Gaffigan and Louis C.K., funny men, yes. Hot, attractive, sexually suitable for most women? Aw, hellllllll no.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a gold-digger. And I’m sure as hell not ugly. Cute, some say. Gorgeous others say when they want head.

Have you ever accidently drooled on a guy’s chest before? Awkward right? Yeah, older guys don’t notice that shit. Usually they think they drooled on themselves. If that doesn’t sound like heaven to you, then you are the fucking devil… the devil.

I think I like the stability of older men. They’ve given up. They understand the unspoken rules. And they know not to deviate from said unsaid rules. That being, I want, what I want, when I want it.

Follow those rules and you’ll get laid. Young men don’t get that. Older men do.

Boom…guess who gets laid.

And guess who got the Bob Evans early bird special this afternoon? This girl bitches.

This girl.

Get Your Bitch Face On!

It's true, I don't wake up every morning ready to kick ass and take names- sometimes I need a little paint! I wanted to give a run-down on the top make-up products for girls who like to be dramatic, party, and rock the fuck out. And with Halloween right around the corner, you may get a costume inspiration after checking out some of these great make-up accessories...


The eyes are the crucial part of pulling off a FABULOUS face- I love to use anything from this Moulin Rouge Collection by Make Up Forever. These red lined lashes take the fuckin' cake because they are just so pimp. I heart them dearly. And also in the set are some sweet crystals that you can place on the sides of your eyes or if you try lining your eyebrows with them, it would look bangin'.

If you need to thicken up your lash line or to get a really bold look, it all comes down to the liner you choose. I have been true to Kat Von D's Tattoo Liner in Trooper (a.k.a. jet black). This stuff will not smudge easily and therefore you will probably need a good make-up remover for the end of night- if you care at that point, drunk-ass.

How about some bad-ass eyeshadow, huh? Well I found a cute make-up set that comes with four shadows named: Pin Up, Peep Show, Full Frontal, and Lucky Charms- how could i not put this Two Faced product on here? The set is called "Fun in the Dark" and it comes with some lip colors, blush/ bronzer, and an awesome light-up mirror to help you get your look in those dark dingy places- not that any of us fine upstanding ladies would be caught in such a place! I'm also lovin' Buxom's Stay-There Eyeshadow in Saint Bernard!

And what would we bad bitches be without some luscious deep colored lips? I'm not a big fan of standard lipstick, so I looked for something a little more glossy. DuWop makes a whole line of Lip Venoms that plump, color, and shine up your mouth. My fav- the latest Twilight Venom which boasts a crimson shade once applied.

And to finish your look off, it may seem unnecessary, but give this Urban Decay All Nighter Long Lasting Make-up Setting Spray (What a mouthful, right?). But this shit is awesome when you are out at those sweaty clubs. It works wonders on your eye make-up especially- no running, smudging, or flaking- so go get your freak on with that hottie on the dance floor!

Alright sluts, I've fully prepared you to get your fine asses out this weekend, so tear it up and make me fuckin' proud.

~THE BAD BITCH~

MissC Spills Her Bad Girl Secrets

This weeks interviewee is none other that one of my favorite skanks EVER, MissC. Love her hoes, she totally saved my ass today because she rocks my tits like that okay? 

I grilled this little skank until she spilled all her Bad Girl ways, so here it is... Enjoy!

1. Okay bitch, I want you to tell me and all the other Bad Girls why they should go check out your amazingly hookerific Bad Girl blog right now!

How about cause I said so? No? Well it's cause I'm a good fit for everyone. There is lots of naughty goin on, I am the creator of the Wednesday Naughty List, but I do rock the mommy/housewife crown as well. I sometimes like to post poetry and short stories that I have written. And sometimes I just whine and bitch. So I'm just a little bit of everything! How can you not want to check my shit out??

Plus I like to get to know my readers. The bitches I heart the most I am friends with on FB. We love to talk shit and make each other laugh. And because of that I'm a great commenter on other people's blogs.

I don't think of myself as just being a bad girl blogger. But as being one bad ass friend you just haven't met yet! (She's a liar! Crystal is a closet whore and lucky for her those are my favorite kind!)

2. What do you think qualifies you as a Bad Girl??? (Better be good skank!)

Oh Hooker! Where to start?!

Well I am mouthy as hell. And I don't tend to have a problem telling people when they're wrong. (If you're not reading me then you're wrong btw.)

The trick with me is that I am a bad girl on the sly! I come off very sweet but The bad is boiling under the surface. For instance...I once wore vibrating panties to church!! So I have two blogs to hold all of me. The really bad girl shit is on one, and the mildly bad crap is on the other!

3. Were you ALWAYS a Bad Girl or are you recently converted?

Well that depends on who you ask. I'm gonna say that I have primarily been a bad girl. But no one knew. I'm sneaky like that! My family moved from California to a tiny town in Arkansas when I was 13 and so I went from an obedient daughter to a rebellious hellion. I snuck out at night. I fooled around with guys. I drank. I blackmailed a teacher. I dated a couple guys at one time. I dated a guy that was 6 years older than me. The whole shebang! I got married at 17 and that didn't tame me. Having my son at 20 tamed me some. But I am back to being one bad bitch!

4. What bores you more, a 'Mommy Blogger' or 'Tweet Blogs' and why bitch?

The majority of mommy blogs fucking bugs the shit out of me. Seriously. I don't want to hear about Little Darling and his beautiful shit in his stylish diaper.

If you want to bitch about your kids, then I can relate and I wanna read it. Bitching about your kids doesn't make you a bad mom. But trying to make everyone think that you and your little monsters are perfect makes you a boring ass blogger. CLICK OFF!

5. I want you to tell me and EVERY other Bad Girl here about an instance that has made you realize you are in fact a Bad Girl.

Just one????? Fuck you're gettin more than one.

So when I was 16 my friends dared me to apply for a job at hooters since I had c cup boobs already. They thought it would be a great joke! I not only applied but I got the job. And I worked there for 2 weeks before the manager figured out my real age.

When I was 18 I got a job at a sex shop. Oh yes! I sold toys, porn, sex swings, stripper clothes....Anything you can find at a sex shop I helped sell it. And I loved it.

It's become my goal to have sex in many different odd places. So far I have done the naughty in a church parking lot, while church was in session. Underneath a freeway overpass. In a vineyard. At my friend's house during her goodbye party. My friend's pool during a pool party. On the beach during the day. In a walmart parking lot. My son was conceived on a beach by a river. In a tent that I shared with my in laws. (They were sleeping!!) At an Applebees after closing time. In more than one public park.

I'll leave that at that. But I am one Naughty Bitch!!

So ya....I'm a bad girl. I hope everyone will come check me out! If nothing else...I promise to keep you entertained!!

There you go bitches! Get your asses over there, because she will totally keep your ass entertained!

 

One Crazy Brunette Chick