Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The 12 days of... horrible gifts!

Ever wondered what the hell she did with partridges or turtle doves, or heaven forbid the lords a leaping? Instead of the usual top ten I decided this week I'd post about those gifts that we always get, and never want.

12. Socks. Every year some well meaning grandparent gives me socks. Of course, they buy the bulky kind that you only wear if your a lumberjack in big boots. So the pack gets stuck in a closet and I always have too many socks. (Fuzzy fun socks are an exception and make an excellent stocking stuffer!)

11. Lotions and Bath Salts that you bought on clearance last year. Number one, it isn't my scent. Number two, that stuff has a shelf life you know.

10. Those cheap scarf/hat/glove sets. The gloves never fit adults unless they are tiny tiny people. The scarves fall apart and leave pieces all over everything I own. And the hats? Really?

9. Votive candle holders. Have you ever been to the gift swap and gotten the single votive candle holder gift? What does one do with a single votive candle holder? Of course I now have so many mismatched single votive candle holders I might actually be able to do something with them collectively.

8. Fruitcake. Growing up, I really thought this was a joke. The first Christmas I actually received a fruitcake I laughed. It wasn't a joke.

7. Ugly porcelin trinkets. Need I say more?

6. Magazine subscriptions. Unless it's Cosmo? It's a waste of space in my house.

5. Weight Loss/Self-help books..... Yes, someone did that.

4. Framed pictures that I'm not in. Unless you"re my child, and I don't have any, why would I want a framed picture of you?

3. Novelty kitchen appliances. Unless someone has an ungodly amount of cabinet space? Those gadgets aren't necessary! I can make pancakes on the stove top and brew tea in a boiler. It's just another box to store.

2. Wall Decor. Unless you were with me in a store when I fell in love with that decoratve plaque or mirror? Don't do it! It'll just end up in a yard sale,

1. _______________ Fill in the Blank!! What is the "oh, please not another" for you this year?


  1. My step mom buys the worst gifts for us... seriously, the worst. My sister has a small kitchen with little storage. I happen to know that she got her this giant roaster this year. I have already warned my sister that she will need a gift receipt.

  2. A Jesus clock. Yes, you read that right. I got a Jesus clock. I win.

  3. A weight loss book?!!! OMFG!! and love2esme - I reckon a Jesus clock would be fucking funny!!!

    love your blog, pop over to bigwords if you get a chance