Monday, December 20, 2010

Confession from the Queen!

So you all let me down on these confessions! ;) But wouldn't you know The Queen came through! So check out her Christmas Confession, then hop on over to visit her and check out the band of Royals!

"I had just become of age.  I was legal to drink.  It was traditional for my family (Grandparents, uncles, aunts cousins BOTH SIDES) to get together for Christmas ever.  This year, it was my parents year to host it.

I had to work that day and we all hit the bar after work.  Isn't that what a normal 19 year old would do the first Christmas Eve they were legal to drink, and living away from home?  Yea, I thought so.

Anyway... this was the good old days, when drinking and driving was a normal thing.  If you killed yourself on the back roads of Nebraska.. your problem... you were the only one on that road, so chances are they would find you in the spring.

I was partying about 40 miles from my parents home..they would never know right?  Um.. dumbshit...  I get the wonderful drunken idea to drive the backroads of nebraska for the 40 miles to my parents home.  In my drunken state, I believed I could not live without spending Christmas Eve with them.

I pull into the little town of 7, just a few miles from my parents.   Our neighbor boy saw me puking on main street.  He knows I should not be driving, so he shoves me into the front seat of his car and takes me home.

He drags me up the sidewalk.. leans me against the door,,, and knocks and runs... except he wasn't fast enough.. Father opened the door to watch his daughter FALL IN the house giggling and puking..
The neighbor boy yells.. I found her that way... as he sped out the driveway...
Several pots of coffee later, I'm sober enough to know it's Christmas eve.  I look around to see Grandparents,, Aunts and Uncles..and a pair of parents...GLARING AT ME...
THEY WERE NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED...

The cousins however,, were giggle snorting all over the place... They knew they would never... do anything... that topped this... if they were in trouble.. they just looked at the family and said..
Yea.. but I didn't show up to Christmas shit faced...

and that... is my Christmas Confession."

-The Queen
wtfo

3 comments:

  1. Loved it..lol The kid says "I found you that way" is one of the best parts, make me laugh out loud to think about it. Drinking laws were only 19? That's crazy I thought you were in Canada before you said Nebraska.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeppers... 19... 18 if we slipped across the state line and got 3.2 beer ... oh the good ole days..no seat belts.. no air bags... and booze to go... and most of us lived to tell about.. of course.. back then we had large families.. you know.. so they had spares..

    ReplyDelete